Today, I had a short-term part-time job handing out perfume samples at a department store... I got complimented on how pretty I was about 5 times today... I'm
 having a nose job next Wednesday, and my self-esteem was low and my unrequited love failed (I thought it was my appearance), so I thought
 
people would compliment me. I get suspicious every time, huh..? It’s pretty..? I don't think it's neat, but
 I just don't believe it.
 I've never been told that I'm ugly in terms of appearance, and I used to work as a model. It's not like my self-esteem has lowered because someone pointed it out. As I'm getting older, I'm no longer as
 pretty as I was when I was in my early 20s. I get depressed because I feel like I'm being followed.
 
When I say things like this, my friends say I'm happy and they say I'm lost in a strange world.