I wish all the people who hurt others with their faces would disappear

I'm a case where other parts just look normal, but my double eyelids completely changed my appearance. I originally didn't even think about double eyelid surgery, but my grandfather was always insisting that he would give me double eyelid surgery, so I went to the hospital and had it done.
 I was so clueless that I made an appointment right away and had the surgery without even looking for a hospital. The consultation lasted only 1 minute, so I didn't know much, so I just had the doctor do it for me. I said it would be good. But the doctor found the exact line that suited my eyes, so I looked prettier compared to before.
 The problem was that when I was peerless, I was ridiculed for my appearance so much that I kept thinking about that scar. I've already hated my past for a long time. Boys made fun of me for having small and ugly eyes, and girls laughed at me as a group because I tried to make things up. The boyfriend I was dating at the time told me why I'm dating his friend when he walks around with his eyes closed. I passed it on to you as is. During my school days, I had a strange confidence that all I had to do was study and that I would just close my eyes because my nose and face shape were perfect, so I had the will to endure even when I was hurt, but now that I'm in college, I can feel the way people around me treat me has changed. More than anything, I keep having nightmares as my friends' current status starts popping up one by one. I can still vividly remember the girls in the hallway making fun of him, saying his eyes were the size of buttonholes. So I still hate my face. I can't love my face in the past, and I know that my current face is my best stack right now, but for no reason, I look for revision surgery and become obsessed with useless things, even though I know that thin lines like the inner pair suit me and that I can't match the matching pair perfectly. Fortunately, I succeeded, but I also regretted why I didn’t do it in Gangnam. Fortunately, I have no intention of having surgery on other parts. I don't want to touch anything other than my eyes. Still, I'm scared to fall asleep again today. It would have been nice if you had said it in a nice way. Or would it not have been this difficult if I had been born with just one line over my eye? I also know that no matter how obsessed I am, how much care I put into it, or how much surgery I do, I can't become a celebrity. However, when I see myself looking at pretty people and wanting to be told that they are pretty, I feel really ashamed and sad... I wish the scars would be erased. I try not to see them every night, but in the end, every time I see them, they are living well. I hate myself for feeling hurt, and I hate those friends who are living well, too.