I hate my appearance so much ㅠㅠ My mom is freaking out, saying I'm going to become a saint.

At the beginning of this month, something went wrong at work, so
 my mom was shocked when I told her
 I would rather earn money for a month and
 fix it so that men would notice her . I really want to get eye surgery because I have a complex...
 I have severe ptosis and curtain eyes. This is it.
At first, I only wanted to do my complex eyes, but
 after looking at Instagram,
 I also want to do a nose... I want to get fat grafted on my forehead and cheeks, and since I work at a
 company without an elevator, I also want to get some leg injections...
 I'm not bragging, but my head and face are small. .
You don't have to worry about breast augmentation, and
 it's not just about the breasts, it's clear how they go in and come out, and
 they're not too plump. My height is in the late 160's...
 But I guess men look at the face firstㅠㅠ They
 say pretty is subjective, but faces on Instagram are popular these daysㅠㅠ
 I wonder if it's some kind of flaw... I
 got braces until I was 21 after the CSAT. They say
 that because I have curtain eyes and pseudoptosis, it is uncomfortable to open my eyes and
 my confidence is low...
 No, my chin and eyes are different.
Common sense tells me, how can a chin-chinned person live a social life?ㅠㅠ
 Anyway, I have an extremely sensitive personality, so
 if I mess up, I destroy everything I was trying to build...




 


 


 

 


So, I need to reduce my sensitivity a little bit.
If it's a mountain prone to forest fires, all the trees are cut down.
 

In order
 not to get angry,
 I have teeth and eyes... both are areas that greatly affect my impression.
 Even before I entered puberty,
 I had a huge complex and my self-esteem was severely diminished.





What happened at work?
Due to internal circumstances at the company, I had to step down from the original project for a while and
 take on a job for which no plan had been set... I
 
came all the way to Seoul because the company said it would hire people who can do A job...
 Since I was an undergraduate, I have always done A job. I used to think that people exist only if they do it.
Actually, I've been very confused and embarrassed ever since joining the company...
 
One of my classmates is the same age as me, but he graduated early,
 passed the university entrance exam, and has been doing related work, so
 I was comparing myself a bit... Meanwhile, I was comparing myself
 



to the older brother I left behind at home. It also broke up....
 I came up shortly after we talked about dating, so
 what would long distance be like... ㅠㅠ
 It 's a sensitive time because the company works like that too...
 
I've been on a long distance relationship for 2 years before...
 but this time, we'll just date like we did then. We didn't even know each other before.


I can't even resolve the misunderstandings
I'm so arrogant and proud...ㅠㅠ
 I blame myself so much.


At the company I left my love behind, they treated people poorly and made people bleed at the beginning of the month...
 But it was not easy to find a freelance job in rural areas, so
 it was an inevitable choice.
It's much easier to work on projects if you gain understanding through participation, so
 
my brother goes to the engineering graduate school at my parents' home. He came here
 because it's one of the best schools in Korea...
 It's my parents' home for me, but it's a place for my brother.
But while I was the only one telling myself not to be lonely in a foreign country,
 there were too many misunderstandingsㅠㅠㅠ
 
I like myself the way I am, so
 why do I compare myself to others....
 I keep trying to use social media, but I am asked
 if I like to pretend to be happyㅠㅠ
 I don't know why I said yes , I don't understand... . So even now, I haven't been able to contact him ㅠㅜ
 While I was blaming myself,
 I looked at Instagram and saw a
 younger
 guy who had been flirting with me before. He also goes to the same school as
 Okay.
But when I look at my girlfriend, she has an Instagram-style face...
 Is the school in my hometown also a flight operations department?




Of course, it is not a major in the metropolitan area, and it is not the face of the Hanseo University Award for Inha Engineering and Technology....
 
You can just think of the face of the Thomas the Train Award.
I think I too had been thinking about going to aviation school
 
ever since I was in high school
 . I heard that men like flight attendant jobs.
 To be honest, even if a man's educational background is good, he likes the woman if she's pretty. The
 only things I want are to have a dream, to live at work, and
 to be loved by a man.
 I want to have at least one of the two
 . Since the company went crazy, I've been with my mom. We had a fight againㅠ
 The A-related academy I go to helped me get another job, but they
 asked me to pay 40 for the training fee.
 I was so angry because I was missing out on it. I'm going to quit my
 job soon, but if I don't have a job,
 when will I earn money to do the surgery?ㅠㅠ
 I was so angry because they kept telling me to think about it. I got it.
 I have to register and get school education right away. If
 I earn more before Chuseok, I can at least get an eye pad set.
 Even though I earned money, it's summer so I'm put off with double hands, so it's annoying, so I
 'll save up more and do a full face off. They
 say I'll just make a face that's popular these days like on Instagram.
 Are you addicted to plastic surgery? Are you going to become like Baek Ji-young
 ? But even though it's unnatural, I think I'm pretty because I have assertive features.


 






Putting a lot of fat on your face...
 Men like that too
 .
One time, I made a suicidal scene and they were nervous. Then, when we
 fought together, I wondered if they were going to provoke me even more...
 

My parents came to Seoul and we had a big fight, so I went down
 last week. We made up.

Fortunately, the new employee got busy with the project he was working on at the company, so he
 didn't touch it too much from the middle of the year, and
 I found my own work rhythm, so it was okay.
 In some ways, it was a simple task, but I could organize it the way I thought...
 
It was fun, right?

 

I'm almost at the end of my contract, but
 fortunately, I went to my original team and got that A job...
 But after getting counseling today, I got depressed again.
 I went right after work to have a pleasant
 outing on Garosu Road...
 


And that Instagram. Looking at it again, I feel a little badㅠ
 There's no one by my side right now...ㅜㅜ
 Today, while coming home on the subway, I yelled at my mom again.
I just hate this situation so much...