I just cried because I was so ugly

Just like the title says,
 I cried because I was so ugly.
 
I'm currently working at a masculine company, and
 a new female employee recently joined our department.
 But she's really pretty. Is she
 really an innocent natural beauty? It can never be achieved through plastic surgery...
 
After this new recruit came in,
 I was very sad because the attitude of other classmates and seniors toward me and the newbie was subtly different.
 For example, if the four of us eat together, Male 2, me, and the new recruit,
 does it feel like Male 2 just keeps asking questions to the newbie without even looking at me?
 It would be awkward for me if I didn't ask too many questions, so I asked questions but didn't listen to the answers, and
 because I continued to receive subtle discrimination that I couldn't put into words,
 
I was so upset that I had plastic surgery on my eyes and nose and lost weight, so I thought I could still be treated like a woman, right?
 But I guess that was just my illusion haha
  ​​I fixed my eyes and nose, went on a diet, took care of my bad skin in my own way, and worked hard like I was breathing, but objectively, I was nothing short of the natural beauty of my toes.
 On my way home from work by subway, I suddenly saw my face reflected in the car window. I looked at it and even the silhouette was very ugly.
 
To be honest, it is true that I don't have any of the things men like.
 My head is big (57cm), my skin is not white, my pores are wide, and
 my legs are short and thick.
 But it's so hard to be treated like this
 . Is it just how I feel? Is it just because I'm a woman with a bad appearance that everything seems to be because of my looks?
 
I tried to control my mood by reading a book and cleaning when I came home today to stop obsessing over things that I can't change with effort, but I failed haha. I took
 a shower and dried my hair, but I was so miserable that I was ugly even after plastic surgery, so I
 started crying. I even covered the mirror.
I don't think I can accept the fate of having to live in the background or as a screen for the rest of my life since I was born an ugly woman because
 I don't want to look good
 . It's natural that people with outstanding looks are liked, so
 how can I accept my ugly life?
 If there are any people who have had similar experiences as me, please give me some advice...