Is it difficult to break up and remain friends after dating for a long time?

This person... is my first love and we dated for a long time. After breaking up and meeting several times, he did something big to me and we broke up. When I told him to stay friends, he said that I should come back. Or, let's just cut ties. Since staying friends doesn't work, let's just cut ties. Instead of keeping in touch, let's just stay in touch and check in a few times a year . But this person said that we should just act like complete strangers. Or, let's just act like we never knew each other from the beginning. He said he couldn't go back, but he's going to cut ties now, so it breaks my heart. I'm scared of affection. I think it'll be hard to keep in touch and go back to him. I can't do that. Even if it's too hard now and I want to go back , will I think it was a good idea to cut ties later? Seeing him acting like this now... my heart hurts so much and hurts, and I don't know what to do. People around me also say that I'm selfish. Are there any of you who remain friends after breaking up? And even after a crazy and painful breakup... does love come easily? Haha!