I said I wanted to die because my plastic surgery failed, but my dad

As soon as I turned 20, I changed my face and went bankrupt with the 1,500 I had saved. Depression. I didn't endure the side effects to have this face. It was a waste of money and I feel sorry for my parents. I studied pretty hard, but I wanted to become prettier due to a house situation that didn't work out, so I gave up on college and went to work at a factory. I feel so sorry to my parents who tried to stop me, so I have nothing to say. I cry at home all day and don't even leave the house. Today, I felt like I really didn't want to live, so while eating with my family, I cried and screamed that I didn't want to live... My mom was comforting me there, but my dad threw a plate at me. The more you do that, the more your dad's lifespan is shortened. You say that it's really hard for mom and dad too. Dad said I should just go out and search. I feel so sorry for my parents who are having a hard time because of me, but hearing things like that makes me have no more hope in life. I want to go back to how I was before the surgery. Although I was ugly, my life was happier before that. I think my family is having a hard time dealing with me now. I'm 20 years old and still pretty, but I just wanted to become prettier.