I want to commit suicide because my plastic surgery failed.

I want to commit suicide because my plastic surgery failed. I used to have really pretty eyes and had double eyelids, but I was greedy and wanted to become even prettier, so I had eye surgery. The hospital recommended eye correction + semi-out incisions, and I guess they were trying to catch a clueless idiot. Double eyelid surgery is a common surgery these days, so I thought I wouldn't fail. I just had a hard time, but after doing it, my coordination was all broken, my eyes were puffy, the whites of my eyes were all visible, my eyes were not closed, my mucous membranes were lifting, and other functional pains. I just wanted to die. I thought it might be because of the swelling, so I waited for several months and it didn't get any better. On the contrary, because the swelling has gone down, it looks like a surprised rabbit's eyes. The cost of reoperation is quite high. It is three times the cost of eye bridge + double eyelid surgery. Moreover, even if the eye correction is removed, it is not clear whether the eyes will be exactly the same as before. I am afraid that I will write a will and commit suicide if the reoperation does not work.