It may not seem to match the bulletin board,,, but
first, I'll start with the nose story. ㅠㅠ
June 17th.... I had surgery at Yanh Thai Hospital.
It's been exactly a month and a week
through a famous Korean site ㅠㅠ
Chin wide mouth... and I had a second nose surgery,
but as you can see in the picture, my nostrils are crooked and my cartilage is bent...
Also, the silicone at the beginning of my nose is crooked, so
I had to have it removed in Korea after 17 days ㅠㅠ
The bruises on both sides that were so red are gone,
but the bruises on my eyes are still like dark circles and
haven't gone away yet...
I'm a man after all...
But my chin has no angles and I ended up looking like a woman, so I
ended up looking like a transgender ㅠㅠ
Actually, I wasn't satisfied with my cheekbones, and
I ended up getting my chin done because they
told me that if I just got rid of my cheekbones, my chin would stand out . I told them that
it's definitely not a woman's face...
I forced the interpreter to do it, and
I conveyed my intention
to the very famous doctor
by gesturing with my hands and feet, saying "Never a woman's face", but... ㅠㅠ
And after the surgery, my right cheekbone swelled up twice as much,
and now, more than a month later, my right cheekbone
feels bigger and harder to the touch...
The swelling is There's not that big of a difference, you know...
When I lift my head that's covering my ears...
the left side is flat but the right side is sunken in and the markings are really noticeable...;;;
I really liked
my nose in Korea in 2001, but I got revision surgery because I thought it looked a little crooked...
Now my nose is crooked... and because of the silicone removal... my nostrils are strangely turned up,
and my nostrils are still crooked... and
there's even a strange line (?????)
on the right wing of my nostrils that I can't explain in words .
My eyes still haven't gone away because of my nose surgery, and
the dark circle
between my eyes is bigger than my eyebrows and hasn't gone away yet
(Is it because I also had silicone removal surgery) ㅠㅜ
In fact, I got a high nose bridge because of my image of looking young, and
I was very satisfied with the advice that I would look much more mature with a surgery that just ties back a little bit of cartilage on the tip of my nose, but ㅠㅠ
Many of my friends have debuted in the entertainment industry after getting chin or cheekbone surgery...
I've also been offered one or two times...
So, out of curiosity... I thought I'd make up for my shorter height compared to others...
and then I'd pursue it more seriously, so
I got my jaw and cheekbones done, but every day I feel like I want to die ㅠㅠ
People I know got their cheekbones done next to their ears...
When I asked them to make the surgical area smaller ,
they said that's the old-fashioned way and that the current trend is to get the gel done inside the mouth...
I found out after the surgery that the inside-the-mouth incision causes sagging cheeks after searching ㅠㅠ
It's only been a month and a week... Am I being hasty??? ㅠㅠ
I decided to go to Thailand without saying anything
to my family who would obviously oppose me, saying, "Let
's do it first. " And
since I'm still young and can't afford to pay a lot of money on my own, I just made up my mind to go there by myself, and I went there by myself... Now my
family is speechless because of my face. ㅠㅠ
Because of the neighbors' eyes, I'm scared to go outside and I've developed social phobia.
Every day, I just want to die.. But
I'm still waiting, crying and eating mustard,
until the swelling goes down . ㅠㅠ
Some people were satisfied with the surgery in Thailand...
Am I the only one who is like this??
My face is swollen and my cheekbones are red...
Bruises around my eyes...
A jawline like Hari Soo...
And even my nose is like this.
My old appearance is nowhere to be found, and only this one weird ET
sits in front of the mirror in my place... They say I
have to wait 6 months to get another nose job;;;
Until then... I can't even describe how I have to wait this long ㅠㅠ
It's been over a month but the bruise won't go away and
I'm scared what I'll do if it doesn't go away.
I sent the picture above to the taxi agency website and called several times to ask for advice... but they
always said to wait about 3 months and only after the swelling
has completely gone down can they talk...
The clown who is always crying can't even say anything because there are still 3 months left until the swelling goes
down.
It makes me seem like the only weird person who calls so often ㅠㅠ
My nose was strangely rotting(?) and when I went to a hospital in Korea, they said
it was serious and they told me to take it out right away when I went back 17 days later with great determination...
In Thailand, I said I wanted to lower the silicone more naturally than now...
And I said that the main reason I came to Thailand was my nose.
If cartilage would make my nostrils look better, then use cartilage... I told the interpreter that I hated silicone even if I died... I asked them
to make me have a pig nose ,
but the silicone that the Korean doctor took out was an unimaginable L-shaped height...
And that was the first time I learned about putting cartilage on silicone...
I really want to commit suicide 100 times a day.
It starts with crying when I wake up in the morning. At night, I cry myself to sleep.
I don't even feel like eating, so I can't eat even one proper meal a day....
At first, when my jaw was swollen, I practiced opening my mouth... I practiced chewing... And I heard that I should eat well and exercise often... I worked very hard,
even quitting smoking, but... The moment I take off the silicone removal tape, the more the swelling goes down... I just want to die more desperately...
I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day.
I just cry all the time. ㅠㅠ
I have no hope in life anymore... ㅠㅠ
I might really die...
The swelling that comes every morning is no more painful to me
than the unnatural pain in my cheekbones and jaw that comes every morning...
If only I could go back 15 days...
If only I could go back 20 days...
If only I could go back a month... If only
I could go back 37 days ago...
I pray and pray every night and fall asleep with that wish... But
when I wake up in the morning...
All I see is the hellish daily life in front of the mirror, not wanting to wake up It repeats...ㅠㅠ