 It's been 65 days since the removal of the ear cartilage and the knot on the tip of my nose..
Nose compresses and nose massages have become a part of my life.. Haha,
coming to Seongyesa Temple seems to have become a daily routine.. I'm rummaging around with anxiety today too.. rummaging around even though I have nothing to do. ..
I felt relieved and happy for about two days after the removal, but for a week after that I couldn't live, and for a month after that, I was stuck in front of the mirror, thinking it would be okay, but then I cried and screamed... and lost my temper at my boyfriend who was always by my side. I was praying... I would rather live than die... I was really hectic. I think it was more difficult in the beginning because of the guilt. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff, thinking that I had ruined my healthy nose with my greed and that I was being punished for it. Every time I look in the mirror, I think that my face is full of scars and scars on the inside of my nose. It makes my face look disgusting. These days, it has become less so.
Actually, before the surgery, I was satisfied with my appearance and lived a good life. Wherever I went, I was always told that I was pretty, that I looked like an angelic woman, that I was cute.. As these comments piled up, it seemed like I was becoming more and more conceited without realizing it.. I blamed myself a lot after getting the nose surgery. Anyway, I thought that if I lived well and only the tip of my nose turned up a little and became thinner, I would become really pretty like a celebrity. Very occasionally, older people would say things like, “My nose is falling out like a man’s,” and that means I have a complex about my nose. I need to fix it. I rationalized it like this and had the surgery done at super speed. I barely even recognized him. I went to two surgery hospitals and decided on the second one, so I said everything. It is private and will become very natural in 2 weeks. As if I was possessed by this sound, I persuaded my parents and insisted on doing it naturally, and a few days later, I went to the operating table. The result was... my nose got bigger. The tip of my nose, which was moderately thin and pretty, disappeared all over the place, and as the tip got bigger and the swelling went down, I felt like my ear cartilage was already sagging. Like a bird's beak... No matter how many times I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't think I had gotten prettier, and my mom said that my nose was prettier before... but those words made me so upset. I belatedly looked into plastic surgery and looked into similar situations, but I didn't see much room for improvement. I was told that it would be removed within 2 weeks, so after a few days of crying and barely eating, I made a decision and asked to go to the hospital and have it removed. The director said the surgery went well. There are very few cases like this at his hospital. If you take it out, you'll regret it. He said he would take it out if you wanted to, but he tried to stop me as much as possible and told me to just wait a little longer. The doctor also said that the surgery went well.. I tried to convince him.. but the shape of my nose was weird.. and it was burdensome.. and I wanted to have it removed.. but he yelled and said, “Oh, I don’t know what will happen, but I still stubbornly decided to have it removed, so in the end, I had it removed the same day.” I did. It was hard to see a doctor, so I barely managed to see one... ㅡㅡ Anyway, the doctor was a bit harsh, but since he was going to entrust my nose to me, I had no choice but to apologize and ask him to remove it... He removed it without receiving a refund. When I removed it after about 20 minutes and opened my eyes, tears were flowing. Right after it was removed, I felt so relaxed and happy. Of course, what followed was the beginning of hell...
These days, my nose is much softer than before, but it's still not as good as before the surgery. Does the center still feel solid? And when I go out in the cold, my nose gets stuffy and I feel like I'm being trapped inside, so I can't go out. I'm so nervous that I can't do anything. The swelling in the morning seems to have improved a bit... but it's still stiff.
As for the scarring... the scarring in the nostrils or the scarring inside the nose... it's worse on the right side. It seems like most of the surgery was done on the right side and the removal was also done on the right side... And the first picture taken under the nose was just taken, but the tip of the nose looks a little asymmetrical due to the nasal scar... The nostrils are different sizes. The right side is slightly distorted and smaller. The right side feels a bit stiff for my fingers. And when I look from the front or side, it feels like my right nostril is slightly lifted... The shape of my nostril hasn't returned yet.
The part marked in green in the picture hurts when I press it, but the sensation is still dull, not like my own skin. I'm worried about this part... Could you please give me some advice on how the sensation felt after the surgery? Since about 3 weeks ago, I've occasionally felt a tingling or tickling sensation, but it's still there. It's not coming back.
And because of the fat on the top and sides of my nose, my nose still feels round and stubby only at the tip. Because of this, my expression seems to be a bit dull... It seems to be especially visible when I take a picture...
Oh, and... the second picture below is a picture of my nose before surgery... ㅠㅜ
I'm still... recovering... I cry less these days. I don't think there's ever been a moment when I didn't think about my nose. I hope that I can steadily recover... my nose... and become as pretty and healthy as before... Once I've recovered a bit... when I feel like decorating it like before... I'll post a picture of my nose~
Take a picture I posted it once.. Some people are curious about the condition.. The post seems too long.. Cheer up for those who removed it.
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잘할거야
