Today, as I am looking at a month since the tip of my nose was removed
... I feel a wave of frustration... Even
though I had my nose tip removed, the shape and size of my nostrils are still not the same as before... The tip of my nose is round and feels like it's ringing... Above the bridge of my nose. Flesh.. Feeling of something different in the columella.. This alone is frustrating, but
the scars inside the nose and surgery scars.. The feeling at the tip of the nose is still dull.. A pulling sensation.. Discomfort and scars in the area where the ear cartilage was removed.. The tip of the nose is still not the same as before. It's really frustrating because there are aspects of it that are functionally poor, such as its softness..
During the surgery, a scar was created above my right nostril and it was slightly sunken, but it stands out when I make facial expressions.. In a way, even these things, which can be considered small, are causing me pain. It's bothering me...
It's a beautiful nose... I laugh self-deprecatingly at the thought of torturing myself
. I wonder if I feel safe when I look at it.. I went back and forth here dozens of times today.. At home, doing steaming and massaging.. taking medicine.. looking in the mirror.. Every time I look in the mirror, my face looks so artificial.. I don't have implants, but I need surgery.
It makes my nose feel disgusting to
see traces of And.. I know that I need time, but.. every time I look in the mirror.. every morning.. and every time I get a call from my friends asking me to meet them.. I feel like my heart is shrinking.. I watch shows and
eat.. .. Even talking to my friends.. I don’t enjoy it as much as before.. It’s really just a moment..
I hold everything in my heart.. and it flows again.. It’s a repetition..
To my nose.. And to myself, who wasn’t satisfied with that nose. I'm sorry... I have no one to blame for this... I feel so sorry for myself for putting myself in this situation...
I believe that things will go back with time... things will get better. But today, the process feels so long and arduous. I complained because I wanted to share it with those who had it removed.